Baby Caleb’s Birth Story
When I was pregnant, I wanted to hear as many birth stories as I could – as if somehow that would help prepare me for my own delivery. It didn’t.
There’s no way to predict what your labor and delivery will be like, and despite your best intentions, plans don’t always pan out. But they’re still fun to hear! So if you’re interested, here is mine. If you’re not, come back for the food next week :)
Warning, this is going to get a little graphic.
Baby Caleb’s Birth Story
People always tell you that when your water breaks, it not like the movies. There isn’t a huge, embarrassing gush of water that requires you to rush out of a public place and book it to the hospital. So when my water broke in the middle of the Trader Joe’s produce section, my first thought was, “Do I have time to finish my grocery shopping?”
It was Monday, May 14th around noon, one week and one day prior to my due date, and I was driving home from an OB appointment. I decided to stop at TJ’s to look for healthy frozen meal options to stock up on for after the baby came when I knew I wouldn’t feel like cooking. In the parking lot, I shot a quick Instagram story that I intended to upload after the trip, updating my followers on my prenatal status and asking for frozen meal recommendations.
I was checking the bananas for brown spots when it happened. I felt a pop and then a gush and in about 15 seconds, as the water began to pour down my legs, soaking my Lululemon leggings, I realized, “No. No, I do not have one second to spare. I need to get out of this store – stat.”
I ditched my full cart and ran to the parking lot as fast as I could, waddling along the way and wondering if people noticed that I was drenched from the waist down.
When I sat down on the car seat, the amniotic fluid began to pool up between my legs. As I drove up to the parking ticket machine, I realized that in my hurry I hadn’t gotten my parking validated. Frantic and frazzled, I tried to explain to the 70-year-old parking attendant what was happening – “Sir, I am nine months pregnant and my water just broke and I forgot to validate…” The man furrowed his brow, “Well, next time you need to get it validated,” he grumbled as he turned to open the gate for me. Hmm, I’m guessing he didn’t fully appreciate the situation at hand!
I drove home as quickly – but safely – as possible, with water continuing to gush out and over the front of the driver’s seat like Niagara Falls.
Luckily at this point, I wasn’t having contractions. I remembered my doctor had said that in the case my water broke and I wasn’t having contractions, I had six hours to get to the hospital. So I managed to stay focused and make a mental checklist of the things I needed to do when I got home: call Abe, walk Mr. Chow, post that sponsored Instagram, pack the car, eat something!
While walking the dog and trying to get a hold of my husband, the contractions began, very mild at first. Within about an hour though, they’d progressed to the “4-1-1” point and I knew I needed to get to the hospital (every four minutes or less, for one minute, for one hour). Abe, unfortunately, was at work, in a very important deposition, and unreachable.
Looking back we laugh because that morning he’d told me, if you really need to get a hold of me, you’re going to have to have my secretary track me down and pull me out of this depo because otherwise, I’ll be out of pocket all day. “Why would I need that?” I told him. “The baby’s not coming today.”
Eventually, I reached Abe and by three hours post-Waterworld, we were in route to Cedars Sinai.
When we got to the triage department of labor and delivery, I was in serious in pain. My contractions were coming every 2-3 minutes and they were more painful than anything I’d experienced before.
The nurse checking me in asked if I had a birth plan. “Well, I’d like to have an unmedicated birth, if possible,” I said, before sharing the pain management tools I’d brought along – essential oils, a calming playlist, a stability turned birthing ball, and my husband, aka Doula Abraham.
She gave me an incredulous look, “Have you prepared? Taken any classes?”
“No,” I responded, getting concerned. “But I do yoga.”
Another nurse standing nearby laughed. “She’s not getting an epidural?” she asked the first nurse. “OK (insert eye roll).”
I suppose now would be a good time to discuss the stigma around pain management – both for and against.
Throughout my entire pregnancy, I felt an extreme amount of pressure over this choice. The judgment is real folks, and it’s not pleasant.
On one side of the fence, you’ve got pro-“natural” birthers espousing the virtues of going med-free and warning of the complications associated with drugs.
On the other side, you’ve got pro-epidural advocates insisting that there’s no reason to not take drugs and thinking that those who don’t are either pseudo-science hippies or self-righteous masochists with something to prove.
I was caught in the middle. Never one to back down from a challenge, I wanted to prove to myself that I was strong enough to endure this biological rite of passage – something my crunchy birthing books told me I was “born to do.” On the other hand, I’d done my research, and the only evidence-based downside to an epidural (for mom or baby) was possibly an extra hour of labor. Although, what’s another pain-free hour when you’ve already gone 18?
I decided to play it by ear and make a decision in the moment.
Well, when that moment came, between the all-consuming agony radiating throughout my body, the dispiriting lack of confidence from the nurses in triage, and the fact that I was only at 3 centimeters despite back to back contractions and insane pain, I immediately gave up hope that I would make it through this challenge without a little help.
We were eventually transferred to L&D and after about two more hours of bouncing on my ball, hunkering down on all fours, and trying to calm myself with my breath, I caved and got what’s called a “walking epidural.” Basically, it works like an epidural but isn’t so strong that you lose control of your legs, so you’re still able to walk around.
It worked like a miracle and I was immediately pain-free, able to relax and walk around the hospital.
However, I was emotionally defeated. I obviously wasn’t as strong as I thought I was. While my husband and I lay in my hospital bed watching a pregnant Ali Wong describe the horrors of birth in her Netflix special Hard Knock Wife, I couldn’t even laugh. I felt like I’d let myself (and those rooting for me to have a “natural birth”) down.
Fast-forward ten hours. I was still only 6.5 centimeters and extremely grateful I hadn’t spent that time trying to fight the pain. We decided to get up and walk around to try to get the baby moving. My husband and I began strolling the corridors, laughing doing squats, lunges, and football shuffles (you can watch on my Instagram highlights) while holding the rolling pole with my IV drip.
By about 4 am the following day the pain had returned with a vengeance, as they warned me it would, and I was at 8 centimeters – still not ready to call in the doctor. That’s when I made the decision to get a full epidural. It didn’t feel much different than the walking epidural, but I was instructed not to attempt to stand up. I really wasn’t in the mood to cruise the halls anymore at this point, however.
After the pain subsided, I fell asleep for about two hours. When I woke up, I knew it was time. I felt the pressure of the baby pushing down and I had the nurses check my cervix – 10 centimeters. My doctor arrived shortly after and by 8 am I was pushing.
She said it would be a quick delivery – apparently, all my yoga squats were paying off. But an hour later, I was still pushing, so hard that they gave me oxygen and told me to relax my face. Later, I’d realize I popped a blood vessel in my eye – hot.
My doctor asked me if I wanted her to give me a teensy snip (aka an episiotomy) to speed up the process. Having witnessed my sister’s gruesome 4th-degree “snip,” I politely declined.
I bore down and did what needed to be done, and in 20 minutes she pulled a terrifyingly white and silent little being out. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck three times but the doctor expertly whipped it off in one second.
After a bit of poking and prodding, our little guy gave his first cries and was placed on my chest for the climatic skin-to-skin moment.
Caleb Gabriel Tabaie entered the world on Tuesday, May 15th, 2018 weighing 6 lb 10 oz and measuring 19 inches. He had a full head of hair and was the spitting image of his father. Well at least we know one of us is the parent, I joked.
Typical of a food-obsessed dietitian, I immediately requested a Starbucks latte and oatmeal and reminded my husband of the promise he’d made to me months before of Sugarfish for our first postnatal dinner.
As I enjoyed my sashimi in bed that night with my precious little boy next to me, I was overwhelmed with happiness and any prior disappointment about the birth process was a faded memory, replaced by joy and gratefulness for my healthy baby.
This process taught me my first valuable lesson about motherhood. What works for one family doesn’t always work for another. As a health professional, I’m hardwired to seek objective answers to all problems. But in this case, and already in many issues I’ve had during our first month, I see that the answers aren’t always black and white.
You just have to do what works for you — do whatever it takes to get through this challenging process.
Your carefully laid plans may not come to fruition and you may have to veer off course or try things you vowed you’d never do. As long as baby is safe and healthy, it’s all good.
A few things I swore I wouldn’t do that I’ve already succumbed to: giving baby a pacifier, using “normal” non-eco-friendly diapers, and co-sleeping. I’m sure this list will get longer and longer as time goes by.
One thing I know for sure, I will NEVER judge another mom again for her choices. We’re all just doing the best we can.
Thanks for reading my birth story. I hope you enjoyed it!
Weigh in: If you’re a mom, did your birthing process go as planned? What things have you done in motherhood that you vowed you never would?
Ashley Fultz says:
So glad you shared! Love this post! And I hate mom-shaming! Hope you guys are getting some sleep over there. Xo
Whitney E. RD says:
Thanks so much, Ash! We’ll have to do a playdate as soon as he gets bigger :)
Jodi Robinson says:
This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing your struggles…I know many moms who can relate.
Whitney E. RD says:
Thank you so much Jodi :)
Jennifer says:
I hate Mom shaming too! I had twins and I had to have a c-section four weeks early due to high blood pressure. My nurse tried to make me feel bad because I was having a c-section and not natural birth. This decision was made with my doctor. I did not get to hold my babies, due to they went straight to the NICU. One was born not breathing due to undeveloped lungs. But in the end they both turned out healthy and are 9 years old now congrats on your sweet baby boy! He’s adorable
Whitney E. RD says:
Thanks for sharing your experience Jenn – sorry it wasn’t pleasant but glad it all worked out in the end!
Tori says:
My plan was very similar…I wanted an unmedicated birth, and I also to the nurse “I teach yoga, I should know how to breathe” as if I could imagine what labor would feel like. The pain was too unbearable and I got an epidural after 12 hours. I actually r ded up with a C-section bc I never dialated, and I felt like I failed myself, but in the end, I had a healthy baby so why do I best myself up!? The most important sentiments, I think, are to not judge other moms or compare ourselves :) We all worked so hard to get here! Congrats again on your adorable little guy!
Whitney E. RD says:
So true! We all went through nine months of challenges, right?!
Annie vR says:
What an amazing story!! So glad you shared. Also I can not believe the insensitivity of the parking lot attendant and the nurses! That makes me so sad, because labor and delivery is hard enough on its own without people getting all judgy. So happy to hear that you are both happy and well as that’s all that matters anyway ☺️. Also do not worry about caving to all the stuff you swore you’d never do. You’re going to laugh at how many of those rules you end up breaking later on. Just be the best mom that you know how to be. That’s all sweet Caleb wants and needs. You got this girl!
Whitney E. RD says:
Thank you so much Annie :) It helps to have the support of awesome moms like yourself!
Daron says:
I just had my third baby and every delivery was different. I tried to go natural with my first, but he was turned just enough, and after 10 hours of pushing…yup, he wasn’t going anywhere and I ended up with a c-section. Second was natural only because I didn’t have time! By the time we were checked into L&D I was at a ten and ready to push. I remember kind of regretting not having an epidural mostly for all the “stuff” that goes on down there after the actual delivery. My third (just about three weeks ago) was by far the easiest and most pleasant (if labor could be described as that, haha). And I felt the most present and aware for. I wasn’t fighting the pain and could really enjoy the moment she was born. I also had a great epidural which allowed me to move around a lot, I think that makes a difference. All that to say, echoing what you said, we all should do what works best for us and for our families. I’ve checked all the delivery boxes and all led to healthy Mom and healthy babies, and at the end of the day that’s what really matters and should be celebrated, right? Congrats on your sweet boy! Thank you for sharing your story
Whitney E. RD says:
Thank you for sharing Daron! It’s nice to hear the perspective of someone who has experienced both!
Suzie Carter says:
Loved your story. I had 3 babies. Each one was different. First 2 I had epidurals but the experience was completely different. My third started to come early and I was put on bed rest and had to take meds to stop the contractions. She was born on time and all natural. They are all unique right from the start. But I wouldn’t trade the experiences for anything. And the fun is just beginning.
Whitney E. RD says:
Thanks for sharing Suzie! We’re so excited for the fun to come :)
Kelli @ Hungry Hobby says:
I’m due in October and I love this story because I’m in that place where the arguements for both types of birth seem super valid. The thing is no one can predict how fast it will go and what is going to happen. Sounds like you made all the right decisions for you and are at peace with that. I hope I’m abld to do the same!
Whitney E. RD says:
You’ll know when the time comes! So excited for you Kelli!
SHAYLA QUINN says:
Loved reading his post Whitney! So proud of you!! Can’t wait to meet Caleb! Xoxo
Whitney E. RD says:
Thanks so much, Shay!
Jessica Levinson says:
Congratulations, Whitney! Loved your pictures! Caleb is so adorable. So glad you both are doing well.
Whitney E. RD says:
Thanks, Jessica :)
Haley says:
Thanks for sharing! I was a go either way kinda birth plan. Let’s see if I can do it without meds. Lord Jesus, 4 cm in and I thought for sure I was dying! I got the full eidural and it didn’t work. I made it to 8 cm before I got another epidural! I’m telling you, worst pain of my life! You’re right though, as long as you and your baby are healthy, who cares? Put your hands up and enjoy the rollercoaster!
Whitney E. RD says:
Oh wow, that must not have been fun getting that needle twice!!
Lee says:
Loved reading this whit! And congrats to you both on such a precious little guy!
Whitney E. RD says:
Thanks so much, Lee!
Deryn says:
Beautiful story! I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing and congratulations! Also, you’re amazing. xo
Whitney E. RD says:
You’re so sweet – thank you, Deryn :)
Jana A says:
I absolutely loved this post Whitney! So real and honest. I felt the same way after becoming a mom – I will NEVER judge a mother for the decisions she makes for herself and her babies. It’s definitely a humbling experience after you have a baby and you learn a lot about yourself, as well as gain a new level of understanding for others too.
Whitney E. RD says:
You really do! I have a whole new layer of compassion that wasn’t there before!
Julie @ Running in a Skirt says:
What a beautiful story! I hate that there is shame in any direction from women just trying to have a healthy baby the best way they can. You did great and Caleb is lucky to have you! Congrats again.
Whitney E. RD says:
Thanks so much, Julie!
Catherine Brown says:
What a beautiful story… and important message! Thanks for sharing Whitney! and Congratulations!
Whitney E. RD says:
Thanks, Catherine :)
Lindsay says:
This is so beautiful! I LOVE a birth story and I love that as soon as we all become moms our perspectives change immediately (I’m fully guilty of this!!!) He’s adorable!!!
Whitney E. RD says:
Right?! It’s amazing how quickly motherhood changes you!
Sara says:
Oh, he is so adorable. And I love your birth story! And man, I love that the guy at Trader Joe’s reprimanded you for not getting your ticket validated. You poor thing!
Whitney E. RD says:
Thanks, Sara :) Yeah that guy clearly didn’t understand what I was saying!
Lorie says:
Such a perfect story—your story ❤️. I’m bummed you had to leave your cart at TJs . I know there is definitely a lot of judgement both sides of the fence. Can’t wait to watch this little guy continue to grow!
Whitney E. RD says:
Thanks, Lorie! And I was bummed about the cart too haha :)
Rebecca Livingstone says:
Congratulations! I always find it interesting to hear about people’s thoughts on what’s right for them for a birth plan. Then again life never goes as planned!
Whitney E. RD says:
It really doesn’t!
Courtney says:
Whitney, thank you so much for sharing. My birth story didn’t quite go as I had hoped and actively planned for. My little one (who just turned 1 on 6/12) ended up being in Frank Breech position at about 38 weeks. After much consideration my husband and I decided to try Inversion, where the doctor try and manually turn the baby by pushing on your uterus. Needless to say that was the most painful experience of my life, more painful then the contractions themselves. After about 2 hours of Inversion, it was deemed the little one wasn’t moving so we scheduled a c-section. This was rather difficult for me to sallow as I was, like yourself, determined to accept the challenge and do natural birthing. That weekend was tough, felt like I had done something wrong but luckily my husband was there to help me realize as long as our baby comes out healthy, no matter the way, that is what was most important. Well 2 days after the Inversion at about 11 pm I started to get some odd pains. I hadn’t had any Braxton Hick contractions leading up to that point so I assumed those were what was happening and started counting frequency, duration etc. Well at about 12pm I felt my water break. It was a quick, ‘jump into action’ mode from there and off to the hospital we went. In Labor and Delivery triage I found out that I was actually 6cm dilated and if I weren’t having a c-section the baby would be coming soon and they needed to get this baby delivered pronto. Everything that happened next was such a blur. Getting wheeled back, epidural, hooked up and everything happened so quickly. Before I know it my husband was brought back and we were being told they were going to start. What happened next I could never prepare for; being able to hear then see my little girl made everything leading up to that moment fade away. I couldn’t agree more that each person is different, one size doesn’t fit all – it really boils down to what works for you in the moment and the health of the baby. Once again, thank you for sharing your experience I’m thrilled you and your family are in good health and starting to enjoy the joys of parenthood. Warm wishes!
Whitney E. RD says:
Thanks so much for sharing your story, Courtney! Glad to hear that everything worked out for you in the end :)
Alisa Fleming says:
Congratulations! I giggled and got teary-eyed through this story. I think it’s wonderful that you shared your experience – it really gives people both sides of the equation on managing pain and I think will alleviate guilt for many others, too. It’s so true about life in general. We’re all just making the best decisions we can in the moment. Your baby boy is adorable and healthy looking just like his parents!
Whitney E. RD says:
Thanks so much, Alisa :) I’m glad you enjoyed the story!
Stacey Mattinson says:
Congratulations mama!! He is beautiful. I’m so glad you had a safe delivery and they were able to remove the umbilical cord from around his neck!
Whitney E. RD says:
Thanks, Stacey! Yes, it was very scary – so glad he was OK!
Kaleigh @ Lively Table says:
I love this! Such a beautiful story. And you’re so right, what works is different for every mama, and you have to do what works to get you through it! I was against co-sleeping too, but it’s the only way we are getting ant rest right now! Congrats to your family!
Casey says:
I love hearing others’ birth stories as well, thank you for sharing. And thank you for your honesty about all the judgement and mom guilt surrounding labor pain management! I had so many opinions before even having my baby that changed very quickly once I was in the situation. There is no right or wrong, and like you said we are all doing the best we can! Congrats to you and your family, he is beautiful and you look so beautiful and happy!
Danielle Omar says:
Congrats to you, Whitney! Loved your story. It’s been 10 years already, but I remember the day my daughter was born like it was yesterday. Enjoy this time, it goes by so fast! xx
Ashley @ A Lady Goes West says:
I can relate to so much of this story — I had a doula and had done so much prenatal yoga I envisioned myself giving birth standing up. Next thing you know, they are prepping me for a c-section — which I ultimately didn’t have to have — but I basically had every other intervention you can imagine, with my doula sitting in a chair next to me hahaha. You and I — as health advocates — probably walked into birth thinking we knew more and could do better — but you just don’t know until you are in it! Birth is an amazing, grueling and moving experience, and I am SO happy it’s over and my little man is here and healthy. Love this story, Whit. Props to you for making the right choices for you at the time!
Veronica Mitchell says:
Congratulations to you and to your family. Such a great story and inspiring. I had 3 children and of course 3 different birthing stories. I gave birth to all of them unmedicated and I believe I have a strong tolerance from pain. Yes, you’re right every mom does have different experience and decision on what to do. The important thing is that our newborn baby is healthy and we’ll do our best to take care of them in our own ways. God bless you.
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