What’s a Less Douchy Word for “Fiancé?”
So I know this is totally off topic and has nothing to do with nutrition, fitness or even Mr. Chow, but it’s something I need your opinion on.
Obviously I didn’t want to waste one of my three regularly-scheduled, on-topic posts, which is why I’m writing to you on the weekend. So here goes…
I feel like the word fiancé sounds totally pretentious, and quite frankly, a little douchy.
Is it just me?
I don’t think it is. I’ve talked to several other women — married, engaged and unattached — who all agree.
What’s weird is that boyfriend and husband don’t seem to carry that same connotation.
Referring to your betrothed as your “fiancé” though feels a little icky, like you’re trying to point out a new elevated social status.
I feel like it’s a word that should only be used in a french accent or by annoying socialites like Olivia Palermo.
It’s like how I feel when I tell someone I went to SoHo House for dinner…like a poser.
I always follow it up with a, “Yeah, but it was just for some dumb event. I’m totally not a member. And I went completely fangirl when I saw Jennifer Aniston there. They almost threw me out. Seriously.”
Yeah, that makes it better.
But what other options do you have really? Betrothed? I said that two sentences ago and I’m guessing half of you already logged off.
Intended? Soon-to-be-husband? Lover? Promised? None of those seem to make the situation any better.
My fiancé (for lack of a better word) and I jokingly call each other “Beyonce” occasionally, after deciding we wanted a term that was “beyond” the word fiancé.
Get it?
If not, then you probably think I’m a major weirdo, which is why that term stays inside our humble abode.
I ask because I refer to him often on the blog and I need something to call him.
He doesn’t prefer me blasting his name on the internet and the time I called him “Groomzilla” didn’t go over so well (which further reinforces the fact that he is indeed a Groomzilla).
I used to call him “the BF.” What shall I call him now?
Significant other? SO? Is that too close to SOB? I’m at a loss.
Should I just suck it up and say fiancé?
If you have the time (and care) please weigh in below and let me know. And if you think I’m pretentious simply for writing this article, you’re welcome to express that opinion as well.
Thanks,
Linda @ Fit Fed and Happy says:
“I feel like it’s a word that should only be used in french accent”
I agreee! But I thin the word fiancé sounds fancy and romantic, so I like it!
Whitney English says:
It does sound romantic. I guess I should just focus on that part!
Pam S @ Nuts for Nutrition says:
oh my gosh, that’s so funny, I feel completely the same way and have only referred to mine as my fiance a couple times, because I feel so weird and uncomfortable saying it! haha I just usually say my other half or partner instead, luckily I only have 2 more weeks till I can call him hubby :)
Whitney English says:
2 weeks? Congrats!! You must be so excited. Hope it’s wonderful!
Coco says:
Groomzilla Watch 2014
Whitney English says:
We should be careful, it could get dangerous.
Patti English says:
I say just enjoy the novelty of a new title for a while.
Ellen says:
Never had I ever thought the word sounded pretentious or anything like that. He IS you fiancé so I say it’s totally fine to say it.
Or you could just introduce him by his name then brandish your ring finger in everyone’s face;)
Whitney English says:
Haha I like that option but I’m pretty sure it would only contribute to the pretentious factor :)
Devon @ ThereDGoes says:
Ha! This post killed me. I totally agree – in fact I was just thinking the other day about how much I feel silly using the word “fiance”. (I like saying it to my fiance, and then giggling …but in public? Eh.)
Whitney English says:
Thanks Devon. Glad to know I’m not alone!
Valerie @ Bubbles and Gold says:
Betrothed sounds old Victorian to me. Honestly, I think you’re putting too much thought into it. He won’t be your husband-to-be for long.
On the other hand, you can use Beyonce. Its funny as all hell and something y’all made up. Don’t be surprised if her people come after you though
Whitney English says:
So true. I wouldn’t want to upset the Queen Bey!
Holly says:
I am engaged and have been for a long time. We don’t have a date and it will be a while so I needed a way to refer to him other than by his name. I don’t care for fancy terms such as ‘Fiancé ‘. I call him my partner. Anywho, it’s a nice clean term and not the least bit pretentious. Love love love your blog!!
Whitney English says:
Thanks Holly! That is the best option I’ve heard so far! It leaves it open so that if someone needs further clarification, they can ask.
Bethann Wagner says:
OMGoodness, I couldn’t agree more! Fiance always seemed too stuffy/pretentious to us too. Even now when people say it, it makes me cringe. I referred to KW as my soon-to-be-husband which is a mouthful! I am sure there are many, many, many more adorable options out there than fiance!
Whitney English says:
Exactly!!! I would hate for anyone to be cringing at me haha.
Gillian @ That's G says:
Hahahah I love Groomzilla…fiancé doesn’t bother me a ton. I know a lot of bloggers use their spouse’s first initial or something…so I say you split the difference and call him “GZ”
Whitney English says:
Good idea! If the title fits, right?!
Kim says:
Is it sad that I can’t even remember if I used the word fiancé or not?! We were only engaged 8 weeks (no, I wasn’t pregnant!!!) so I didn’t have too long to deal with it.
You could just call him “your guy.” :)
Whitney English says:
Wow, that’s a quick engagement. That must have been stressful planning a wedding in 2 months – I’m getting crap from people already about trying to do it in under a year. I’m guessing you’re pretty no-fuss like me though.
“My guy” is good one! I like the way it sounds. Thanks Kim!
Charlotte says:
This is hysterical. And yes, I totally agree… I don’t much like the word “Fiance” (totes need to be said with the accent) but to be honest, I’m 35 and the word “boyfriend” sounds funny to me, too. I had boyfriends when I was in grade school–so I dunno. Whatever you do, don’t use the word “betrothed,” I feel like that sounds even snootier than fiancé :) LOL!!! Love this.
Alex Caspero MA,RD (@delishknowledge) says:
Did we have this conversation?! I think I used the word fiance like twice… I just stuck with boyfriend- and then flashed the ring! ha :) But, I don’t know if everyone feels that way- I just felt so fake using the term. When’s the wedding!?
Sarah Evans-Watson says:
I love your blog and sometimes have to play catch up, hence why I am just now responding to this post…I feel the EXACT same way. I have the word “Fiance'” and when I do say it I have to say it in a Cajun/French accent in order to make myself feel less like a D-Bag. When my husband and I got engaged, I spazed because I didn’t want to call him by the “F-Word” …So I started call him the Bo Hunk…from 16 Candles… (however, apparently an obscenity to those of Bohemian descent.) Here we are marred 4 years later and I still refer to him as the Big Bo Hunk and our 1 year old son is my Little Bo Hunk. :)
Cel says:
omg totally checked out when you threw in ‘betrothed” ahhaha
ANYTHING BUT: HUBBY HUBBSTER HUB BUB BUBBA BABYCAKES BOO etc ;)
i like “my guy” —he is yours!
Cathi says:
I have been married for 35 years….you could go with MF for My Fiancé. It is also flexible.
Lora says:
We are experts in hot water heating and have installed many Tankless Water Heaters for
customers who were not told of such an option.
Kaylee says:
I know this post is older but I just have to say.. I know someone who refers to her EX as her Ex Fiance. I cringe so much when she says it! EX FIANCE! It’s even worse because I know him and she knows this.. I want to scream ‘ JUST USE HIS NAME!’ haha
Whitney English says:
Ha yes, that seems much much more annoying!
Lyndsey Price says:
I’m thinking “HTB”? (Husband to be) However, I do love the Beyoncé title!
Whitney English says:
That’s a good one!
Maria says:
I recently got engaged and I LOVE referring to him as my Fiance. I’m originally from Spain and the spanish translation of “fiance” it’s not pretty at all so Fiance sounds great to me!! Either ways, he won’t be my fiance for long, so I better enjoy it now that I can! lol